Breathe. That’s all I kept telling myself as I attempted to go back into my past. My hands started shaking. My heart started skipping beats.
My mind raced back to September 26 2010. The first day I met you. I knew you were younger though your height and looks begged to differ. The Melacca school trip. I remember those pants you wore at the water park. The colours were so striking, I could almost believe you borrowed it from a clown. I remember reading your poem that you showed me through your phone. . .
A year and a week later, 29 September 2011, was the day I never saw coming. It was a Thursday and you begged me to come and see you during school. I skipped class during your recess. I couldn’t see it but I felt you were nervous when I told you I had to go. You proposed to me to be your girlfriend and I remember being shocked. Though I was unsure, I said yes. I felt that a rejection would be the biggest mistake of my life. You were so happy. I remember your smile. You hugged me right under the office. . .
Then came the anniversary that didn’t happen…
The memories are painful to bear and impossible to let go. I don’t live with regrets but you are the only exception. You didn’t deserve what I put us through. You didn’t deserve all that pain that I caused. My heart can’t break again because it is no longer whole.
What I have done has no comparison,
I made mistakes without making decisions,
Your love is worth everything and priceless
A broken heart feels nothing except sadness.
The day has come to an end yet the feelings haven’t even started to fade. Maybe now just isn’t our time. But it shouldn’t stop us from living our lives. I put my love for you in fate’s hands. If I am worthy of you, fate will bring us together. Only time will show us our destinies.
Hopefully, I’ll see you in the future.
xoxoxoxo
