It shocked me. Unexpected. Unannounced. Un-everything!! I knew change was inevitable. I knew it had to happen. I just didn't think it would be this soon.
I can hear every breath I take. My mind is reeling out of control. My future is now a blur... AA hates his new responsibility. He told me " I'm not ready." To be honest, i don't think he is either. But he's next in line. But it just doesnt feel right. he argues with her a lot. He wouldnt help when he's mad. I don't want to leave her life and future in his hands. I don't think he can put his emotions aside when he has to deal with matters involving her. It'll be like before, those time when we were kids, he won't help if he doesnt get what he wants.
I'm scared, freaking out. I'm willing to take the responsibility. Better me than him. I don't trust him to do the right thing when the time calls for it. He did say '' I'm the type that chooses family over friends". But they just expect me to go on with my life like nothing happened. They don't understand that I' not worried about me, I'm worried about them.
The BLAST, why so soon??? If only we had more time... If only we knew long before it came. If only they gave us more than a 24-hour notice. . .
If only....sigh...
No comments:
Post a Comment