I know I've changed...or at least trying to. I don't want to hurt you anymore but being with you was hurting me. I just couldn't handle our last fight. I wasn't ready when you asked for a time-out. That request broke me for good. You know what it did to us the first time that happened. For you to make me go through that again was just unbearable. I figured that if we broke up for good, it wouldnt hurt as much as waiting for a month. But I guess there's not much difference. The pain of leaving you is taking it's own sweet time to fade away. But once it's gone, it's gone for good. If I waited, isn't there a possibility that we might take a time-out for a third time? And I wasn't prepared to relive the pain of waiting over and over again.
I miss you a lot. I still love you as much as I did before. What got between us was my life here and I have 2 1/2 more years in this place.. I thought we could get through it until you showed me that you couldn't handle the way i adapted or the way I handled things. I wanted us to last. I wanted to be with you for as long as I can.
If you can question whether my love for you was real or not, what the hell was I doing with you for 8 and a half months...???
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