The Call I Dreaded

I knew you would call. I expect your call everyday. I tell myself I won't pick up when I see your picture on my screen. At night, when the day is almost over, and you didn't call, I smile and cry. Smile because I survived the day without a teardrop. Cry because I know how much I wanted to see your picture on my screen but you never called.

The call that I prepared myself for came. You finally called. At the wrong place. At the wrong time. I was in the car, with my parents. I was guiding my Mum to a restaurant we had dinner at earlier because my Dad couldn't find his wallet in the car.

The moment I heard your voice, I lost mine. I lost all my strength and energy. Tears started falling and I cursed under my breath. I was angry at myself for crying over you after all the nights of praticing how I would react when I had to face you.

I got angry at myself knowing I'm still weak with you. And you heard it but you misinterpreted it. All those nights before, my tears got less and less. I was getting stronger without you. Just by the sound of your voice through the phone, all those tears that didn't fall, fell with all my feelings.

I miss everything about you. I miss your company. I miss your love. I miss your charm. I miss everything that makes you the guy I fell in love with. But we are no longer together. And with every reminder of you, makes our situation a blur to me. I can't have that.

I know we are not together. There is no more us. I'm trying so hard to move on. And I need you to move on as well for me. Knowing you're still waiting holds me back. No one can replace you. No one can repair the piece of my heart that is gone. What you need to do is very simple.

Don't remind me though I will never forget. Move on though a piece of me will forever hold on to the past.

I will always love you. Thats something no one can take away.